I can honestly say that in all of my 53 years on this earth, I havenât seen anything like we are experiencing with the COVID-19 pandemic. Companies are having employees work remotely. People are being asked to remain in their homes and practice social distancing. Restaurants and other ânon-essentialâ businesses are shutting down. Grocery store shelves are bare. Every time I turn on the news for an update (which Iâm doing much less of) there is a new development.
Itâs easy in times like this to become paralyzed with fear and consumed with worrying about what all of this will mean for your future and mine (our health, our jobs, the education of our children, etc.).
However, there are two things I know for certain:
First, many of the things that we are worried about are completely beyond our control.
Second, worrying and stressing about what-ifs will accomplish absolutely nothing. In fact, worrying about these things will have a destructive influence and create a very unhealthy and self-limiting, negative mindset. This type of mindset can easily cause us to become completely paralyzed.
So letâs flip the script.
Instead of fixating on the things we canât control, letâs FOCUS ON what we CAN control. Science has taught us that our brains were designed to be able to focus -- and we are the most positive and productive when we choose to focus on the right things.
So here is an exercise that can help you.
Step one: Take a sheet of paper and draw a vertical line down the center to create two columns. At the top of the column on the left side write, âBeyond My Controlâ. At the top of the column on the right side write, âIn My Controlâ. Then write down all of the things that fit into each of these columns.
Step two: Look at the list of what youâve noted as beyond your control and identify any activities that are feeding into your feelings of powerlessness around those things. For example, if you are worried about the lack of control over your retirement investments, perhaps one of the activities you are engaged in that feeds this worry is regularly checking the status of the DOW Jones Industrial Average. This leads us to step 3.
Step three: As much as humanly possible, eliminate as many of these activities as you can. For the ones that you canât eliminate, put limits on the amount of time you will spend doing them.
Step four: Look at the list on the right side (the things in your life that you have total control over) and make a list of new activities you could add to your life. These activities can replace the other activities that were feeding your fears around the things you have no control over. As an example, I have control over my attitude and the climate I create in my home for my family. So because we are spending more time together at home, I will use that time to create positive family interactions and connections. Instead of turning on the 8 oâclock news, I will pull out one of our favorite family games. I did this last night with my family (including my mom and dad) around a card game called âWizardâ and it was awesome...partly because I won:-)
You get the idea. Trust me. If you take about 15 minutes to sit down and do this exercise, it will put you back in the driverâs seat of your life -- and it will reset your focus and mindset in a really powerful way.
One thing history teaches us is that we as people are pretty resilient. Weâre going to get through this. So why not use this as an amazing opportunity to grow and become more resourceful, positive, and resilient than youâve ever been.
I hope that helps. And remember...the best is yet to come!
